In Memory of Graham Stevens

First impressions are everything, and freshman Graham Stevens’ life was marked by many lasting ones.

Freshman Esther Cunningham, who lives on Graham’s sister floor in Smith-Traber Hall, first got to know Graham during the Wheaton tradition of “Roulette,” where students find dates for their roommates and then engage in a group activity.

Cunningham recalls the activity as an “Amazing Race type event” involving much running.

“Everyone in our group was athletic except for me, and so I struggled to keep up with all of them,” Cunningham said. “Graham was so kind and stayed at the back of the pack with me, feet behind everyone else, and when he could tell that I couldn’t go any faster, he would call out to the others and tell them that he wanted to slow down.”

Many remember Graham, who passed on March 26, 2013, for these same personal qualities.

Concern for others and the pursuit of his faith in Christ were hallmarks of the life he led.

Stevens’ girlfriend, freshman Emily Lengel, wrote in an email, “Graham was one of the kindest and wisest people I have ever met. His genuine love for people could only be explained by looking at his even more genuine love for Christ. He never did anything without first asking himself if it would honor God above all.”

Tate Fritz, a sophomore on Graham’s floor, Traber 3, shared how Graham loved others with the same love that God had for him.

“He wasn’t just someone that told people about Jesus or showed people about (him); he actually followed Jesus in such step that he caused other people to follow Jesus,” Fritz said.

Daniel Cummings, Graham’s discipleship small group (DSG) leader on Traber 3, reflected on Graham’s faith and his humble character.

“For anybody that knew Graham, it was very obvious that he loved God and loved learning more about God,” Cummings said. “He demonstrated what it means to really be in love with Christ because he was so anxious to spend time with him, to talk about him. Whenever I would use the prayer chapel, he was always the one that I was kicking out, or he was always the one coming and kicking me out. (He was) on fire to just spend solo time with God.”

Cummings said that Graham was never afraid to ask the “tough questions” to get people to think and to be honest.

Cummings explained how there wasn’t any kind of separation between Graham’s spiritual life and his daily life; the two were intertwined. Cummings recalled a late night he spent with Graham playing in newly fallen snow.

“We were … the last ones up on all of campus … and we decided to put on our snow clothes and walk around campus and just throw snowballs at each other and throw snowballs at buildings.” 

In the midst of their play, the pair stopped to make snow angels.

“We were being little kids; we were jumping on snow piles with each other, and then we just lay down in the snow and made snow angels,” Cummings said. “All of a sudden it turned into a really deep conversation. It was so natural, and I think that night embodies, to me, who Graham was. ... He was super playful and joking around and laughing, and then a thought came across his mind. … He wasn’t afraid to bring it up at all, and it turned into an awesome time to learn about God and how he made people.”

Graham was born Aug. 9, 1993, in Geneva, Ill. During his childhood, he attended school at Briar Glen Elementary School, Glen Crest Middle School and Glenbard South High School. He also attended Blanchard Alliance Church with his family.

Graham began the next phase of his education at Wheaton College in Fall 2012. Graham was an undeclared major interested in biology. He was also a member of the Men’s Glee Club and its a capella group, the Thundertones.

“Graham was just a wonderful young man,” Men’s Glee Club director Mary Hopper said. “He had perfect attendance for rehearsals … a great spirit, a good musician, he enjoyed singing a lot and he enjoyed being in the Thundertones, the small group. He was a great performer and ... enjoyed life a lot.”

Graham had already earned his place in Glee Club tradition. Hopper explained that there is a tradition to “blame” a member of the club when, for example, a song is sung out of tune. That role had been bestowed upon Graham.

“He would laugh. It was an endearment,” Hopper said. “It wasn’t making fun of him at all. It was more that everyone liked him so much that he could hardly believe that he would ever do anything wrong. ... He had a special place in the Glee Club because of that.” 

It was during the Glee Club tradition of capture the flag that Graham collapsed from cardiac arrest on Blanchard lawn.

Graham was transported to the Central DuPage Hospital intensive care unit on Friday, March 22, where he remained unconscious and on life support. On Monday afternoon, the doctors caring for Graham concluded that nothing more could be done. On Tuesday evening, Graham’s family made the decision to withdraw life support, and Graham passed away at 8:23 p.m. 

Graham’s family then made the difficult choice to make Graham’s organs available for donation.

Chaplain Stephen Kellough, who spent time with the Stevens family while Graham was hospitalized, said, “There was a sense of peace among his family members and friends in knowing that Graham was with the Lord, whom he pursued so enthusiastically before his death.”

Kellough also emphasized the immediate impact Graham had on those around him.

“The breadth of grief across campus was larger than one would expect in the loss of a freshman,” Kellough said. “Really, having been a student for eight months, Graham had a lot of friends, a lot of acquaintances.”

This was evidenced in the class of 2016 worship and prayer night hosted on March 25 in Coray Gym.

“On the Monday night, when the freshmen class sponsored the prayer and worship gathering in Coray, even students who didn’t know Graham were touched by his passing ... and were touched by his life,” Kellough said. “They were really witnessing to the impact that Graham had on them in his life. That’s an incredible thing to say, I think, for a freshman student, to have that kind of influence.”

A memorial service was held for Graham on Sunday, March 31, at Blanchard Alliance Church in Wheaton, Ill.

The service included special music, performed by the Men’s Glee Club, eulogies and a message.

Kellough recalled the eulogy by James Barrett as a particular encouragement.

“James talked about his witnessing Graham’s running after God, pursuing God with his whole heart, and, therefore, James commenting that now life continues with the same priorities for Graham,” Kellough said. “The same thing that he was seeking before his death, he’s seeking now after his death and experiencing a life with God at a new dimension.”

On Easter Sunday, Graham’s life was also memorialized at a Ukrainian church in Ternopil that is connected with Blanchard Alliance, where Graham had served on two seven-day missionary trips.

Graham is survived by his parents Jeffrey and Brenda Stevens, his sisters Caroline and Rose and his brothers Jack, Shane and Aedon.

A Facebook page titled “Pray for Graham” was created after Graham’s initial collapse and has served as a place for many, including Graham’s father, to leave their memories of Graham’s life.

The overarching theme is that Graham had a way of bringing a sense of joy and peace to those around him.

“I have loved seeing (Graham’s) love for people spread like wildfire throughout this community during this time of grieving. He would be so proud to see us all coming together and loving each other in the way that Christ did,” Lengel said. “Cling to each other and to Graham’s favorite promise — that this present suffering will produce perseverance, character and hope. And this hope will not put us to shame (Romans 5:3-5). Graham clung to it with his whole heart, and I am certain he is experiencing the fullness of that hope right now as he sings with joy to our Heavenly Father.”

Photo Courtesy of Sarah Han

Printed in the April 5, 2013 issue of The Wheaton Record. Send comments to the.record@my.wheaton.edu.